People are always telling me, “Sara, have you read <insert name of best-selling book here>? It will totally change your life!” No offense, guys, but I have yet to read a book that has been so influential. On the other hand, here are some things that have changed my life:
- When I was a child, my younger sister snuck up behind me and put ants in my hair. She told me that they were poisonous spiders and if they bit me, I’d die. To this day I am deathly afraid of spiders.
- I was a Catholic schoolgirl for five years. I’ve been strangely attracted to men in kilts ever since.
- I got an eye infection when I was sixteen and nearly went blind. I told the eye doctor I was going to swear off contacts, to which he replied, “You shouldn’t do that. If you wear glasses, you’ll never get a date.” What a wonderful thing to say to an impressionable adolescent, sir! (Yup, I have contacts in right now.)
- When I was a preschooler, my mother used to give me candy to reward good behavior. Of course, what she called “candies” were actually raisins. Nowadays I’ll do just about anything for a bag of Raisinets.
- I knocked out my two front teeth when I was six or seven because I knelt on a chair, slipped, and smashed my face into the kitchen table. I still sit on chairs the wrong way, but now I have faster reflexes.
- I discovered blogging and never again had a moment of spare time.
1 Comment
December 10, 2006 at 9:53 pm
Your mother told you raisins were candy!?! That’s blasphemy.